So, it's been, what? 1.5 years since the last post. Much have happened. Had two miscarriages. My dog died. My cousin-in-law passed on too. So did my granduncle (who used to dote on me). But 2011 ended with a good note - I got pregnant! After 7 rounds of clomid, 3 IUIs, 6 IVF stimm cycles and 9 transfers! Looking back the past 7 years of trying to conceive, I have pretty much given up hope of ever becoming a mum. But here I am - 24 weeks along. :)
Surreal.
Am counting my lucky stars everyday.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
2011
Monday, October 25, 2010
IVF Update and Vote for Izzy! :)
So, the last time I talked about my IVF treatment, I had a blighted ovum, after which, I couldn't talk about it any more than I could bear (and I couldn't bear talking about anything related to it). So I stopped talking about it altogether. It's been 7 months since, and I guess time really does lessen wounds. I still think about Onde Onde at times. Was it a boy or a girl? And if I hadn't miscarried it, would I be delivering it soon? Thoughts like that; you just have to remind yourself yet again to bite down the pain and move on. With enough practice, the pain gradually becomes more and more bearable (although I don't think it'll ever go away completely).
Anyway, after Onde Onde, I decided to go with another doctor (who came highly recommended). I reckoned if it hadn't worked out with the current one for the past 4 years (what with 7 rounds of drug therapy, 3 rounds of artificial insemination, and 3 rounds of IVF), I might be better off with someone else; especially after I've read that the embryo transfer skill does make a difference in one's IVF result.
Unfortunately, the past 2 cycles with the new doctor didn't work out as well. The first cycle, he harvested 7 eggs, none of which became embryos. The second cycle, out of the 8 eggs that he collected, an embryo did develop. It died just before it was placed in me. I didn't give it a name.
So, that's my IVF update. For now, we're taking it easy. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, we can't do anything about it. The dude up there has his own timing. Who am I to rush Him?
Before I sign off, would like to ask everyone who's on my FB to vote for my goddaughter (if you haven't already done so). Izzy is participating in some cutest baby contest for the month of Nov. To vote, just log on to FB and follow the steps below:
1) Go to Embassy of Babies' main page and hit the 'like' button.
Here's the link:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/
2) Then go to Isabelle Kimberly Kwan-Chong's photo and hit the 'like' button to vote for her!
Here's the 2nd link:
http://www.facebook.com/album.
Remember, for your vote to count, you must 'like' 2 things.
1) The main page of Embassy of Babies.
2) Isabelle's photo.
1) The main page of Embassy of Babies.
2) Isabelle's photo.
Thanks everyone! :)
xoxo.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My Friend's IVF Baby Turns One!
It still amazes me till this day that Baby C was conceived through ICSI. The power of medical technology!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I Am A Godma. :)
Everyone, say hi to my Goddaughter Isabelle Kimberly Kwan-Chong. :)
Isn't she gorgeous? :)
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Pad Karapow Gai.
My all-time favourite Thai dish - Pad Karapow Gai. This one is from Papaya Pog Pog (although Ying Thai's still the best)! :)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Gastronomic Adventures at Vue de Monde.
Kangaroo charcuterie.
Compressed cucumber, tuna and wasabi roll.
"Heide vegetable garden".
Trout with horseradish and baby beetroot (and beetroot foam?), smoked at the table.
Sautéed kohlrabi, tapioca pickled with cassis and cucumber juice.
Truffle risotto.
Roasted marron with bisque glaze served on hot river stone.
Western plains pork with "flavours of the earth".
Slow-cooked pigeon.
Cheese with crouton.
"Lollipop" on a shot of homemade lemonade.
Carrot cake.
Chocolate soufflé with chocolate mousse and crème anglaise.
"Petits-fours".
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Mud Crab.
At Pacific Seafood BBQ House (South Yarra branch),
the mud crab always trumps the crummy service!
the mud crab always trumps the crummy service!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Philip Escoffey
A segment of Philip Escoffey's 2008 gig. Watched him 'live' at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2010 two nights ago. Mind-blowing!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Eggs La Mer.
Poached eggs drizzled in hollandaise sauce and slices of smoked salmon served on toasted English muffins - I think I just found my new favourite breakfast place in Café Sweethearts.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Equine Therapy.
"There is something about
the outside of a horse
that is good for
the inside of a man."
~Winston Churchill~
That's High-Girl (my favourite) and I ... getting ready for a canter. :)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Blighted Ovum.
I know I said I wasn't going to talk about anything related to my IVF experience but after some thought, I really think it's superstition on my mum's part. So, if you're reading this, and you know my mum, just feign ignorance, okay? The thing is, I almost always feel better after I've 'spilled the beans', if you know what I mean. I guess when your closest friends are so far away, writing everything down seems strangely comforting.
Anyway, if you remember Onde Onde, you might also remember it was my 3rd embryo, but like the rest, it didn't make it. However, Onde Onde was more special than the rest because it stayed with me for almost 6 weeks. When the test result came back positive, Joe couldn't wipe the grin off his face, and I had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming.
And I wasn't. The symptoms that followed were much less exciting than the news. I was vomiting my guts out after every meal, and I felt nauseated 24/7. I couldn't do anything except to lie in bed the whole time. Luckily, there's such a thing as wireless internet, and I surfed constantly on the world wide web on everything there is to know about having a baby.
Unfortunately, when the time came for my ultrasound scan, the sonographer couldn't find the embryo. We could see the gestational sac and yolk but no embryo. She asked if I knew how far along I was, and I told her I was possibly 6 weeks. She then tactfully suggested that it might be too early to see anything, and that we should go back for another scan in a week's time.
That one week felt like one year. I waited and I waited and I waited. The internet poured out stories of women in similar situations. Some of hope where the embryos were finally detected between 7 to 9 weeks. So I thought, hey, that could be me. Onde Onde could just be a small embryo, but you know what they say about hope - a double-edged sword if you're not careful.
The hours leading up to the 2nd scan was nerve-wrecking, to say the least. When the probe was finally inserted, I immediately knew I had lost Onde Onde. The image was the same as the week before - gestational sac + yolk (only bigger this time), but no embryo or heartbeat. My gynae confirmed that I was going to miscarry in the next couple of weeks, and I had the choice of either a D & C or a natural miscarriage. I chose the latter but had I known of what physical pain that was to come, I might have opted for the D & C.
The pain, oh the pain, was EXCRUCIATING. I was only told that in the following couple of weeks, I would pass out the "remains" in the form of blood and blood clots, but I wasn't told I would have pain BEYOND my imagination. Pain in the form of contractions that even an overdose of panadol could not alleviate. Pain that felt like someone was squeezing your uterus so tight that it felt like the grip of death.
I also wasn't told that there would be MASSIVE amount of blood. I know there would be some blood but it felt like I had bled 2 bucketfuls by the end of the whole ordeal (which lasted 2 days by the way). Neither was I informed that I would pass out blood clots - sorry to gross you out - the size of an orange.
No kidding.
At the end of it all, I felt empty. Like a hollow nest. There was a baby growing inside, but it was gone. Just like that. No parting words, no goodbyes. Just 2 buckets of blood and agonising pain. The doctor said it's nature's way of getting rid of an abnormal pregnancy. I didn't want to debate that - she's probably right.
Still, I can't help but miss my embryo terribly.
Call me silly but I want my Onde Onde back.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Marriage Survival Tip #2
The way to the wife's heart is ALWAYS through the stomach.
No exceptions.
No exceptions.
(Homemade pumpkin soup with croutons).
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Marriage survival tip #1
Take deep breaths when your husband asks you things like, "What if we were designed to fart through our mouths?" (while making fart sounds through his mouth).
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
To Onde Onde Who Stayed For Six Weeks.
We never speak of that hour.
When ripen fruit turned quickly sour.
Hunger heals slow in time,
With no one blamed for this crime.
When ripen fruit turned quickly sour.
Hunger heals slow in time,
With no one blamed for this crime.
No day left here to celebrate.
No reason here to congregate.
No name to place upon this grave.
No memories for us to save.
No reason here to congregate.
No name to place upon this grave.
No memories for us to save.
We lost a life we never had,
And felt a different kind of sad.
Though we'll grow strong through all these pains,
Yet still the hollow nest remains.
And felt a different kind of sad.
Though we'll grow strong through all these pains,
Yet still the hollow nest remains.
~Hollow Nest by Scott Hartman~
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Meow.
"If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat."
~Author Unknown~
~Author Unknown~
Friday, February 5, 2010
Keep Mum.
For some reason, my mom is really nervous about my sharing of the IVF journey with the Internet, and has asked me (repeatedly) not to "expose" so much of what's going on until I'm well into my second trimester (if I should achieve a successful embryo transfer) . I thought it's mainly superstition on her part but I don't really want to upset her either. So, I'm going to refrain talking about it until I have had Onde Onde (or whoever comes next) transferred and developed into a fetus, if at all.
So, with no IVF to talk about, I'm left with 'Husband', 'Food' and 'Dogs'. The living things are doing well, particularly the two-legged one, what with his goal of getting his golf handicap by June and his current favourite toy - The Wii (namely Wii Play, Wii Sports and Wii Fit) after we've already acquired Xbox, PSP and Nintendo DS. I mean, it's no fun having one without the rest, isn't it? *rolls eyes*
Anyway, we're all settling back just fine. I've gone back to work and I'm kinda surprised that I haven't dreaded it (yet). :p I guess the long break in Singapore helped, and doing half-days-only helped too. :) In any case, except for my 8-kilo weight gain, I'm not complaining.
Till the next post, have a great weekend, y'all! :)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Just A Quick Update To Say That ...
... I'm back in Melbourne! Been back for a week actually but if you've seen the state the house was in (I've always thought cobwebs only appear in houses abandoned for like centuries but no, one month is all you need), you wouldn't have time to update either. Plus the layers and layers of dust! (Where did they come from!). So, anyway, while trying to make the house look like a home again last week, we also got Ginger ready for what we thought would be the impending killer heat (it was 47 degrees around this time last year, and it was 44 degrees the day before we arrived). But, for some reason, Summer seems to have turned into Winter, and I'm currently bundled up in my thermals with the heater blowing hot air onto my keyboard.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
*Shivers*
It's bloody cold here lor!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Hiatus.
Sorry for the lack of updates but there will be no posting (except for this one) till I'm back in Melbourne (no time!!). :p Right now, I'm just going to enjoy every moment I have left with my family and friends. Six more days, and it's time to say goodbye again. *sobs*
Hope this year is better than last for you! :)
Monday, December 14, 2009
Better Luck Next Time!
Next in line - Onde Onde. Simply because I'm sick of 'ang moh' names already. And because I'm craving for some!
Hmm ... where to find nice onde onde ...
Friday, December 11, 2009
Packing Order.
Okay, time to pack for my annual pilgrimage back to Motherland. Though I've always looked forward to seeing everyone back home, I absolutely abhor the packing part.
As always, there are the gifts for friends and family which, from experience, have always been the bulk of my baggage. When I say bulk, I mean somewhere between 6-8kgs with the occasional stretch up to 10kgs. This year, for some reason (I suspect the $900 from the Aussie government has something to do with it), the recession spurred me to buy MORE stuff resulting in some 12kgs or so of just gifts alone.
So anyways, that's the gift part. Then there's the CSH (Clothes, Shoes and Handbags) aka The Great Dilemma. Although I'm not someone with an elaborate wardrobe, I do have enough CSH (thanks to my garment manufacturing mother-in-law) to cause some frustration when it comes to travelling overseas; especially one-month-long holidays like this one. Should I take this top? If I did, would it go well with that bottom? If I didn't, why did I bother with that pair of shoes? And what about handbags? Different occasions warrant different bags. Decisions, decisions, decisions!
And to make matters worse, the 8kgs weight gain (and I'm not even pregnant!) has caused me to have to "reevaluate" all my apparels after I found out I couldn't fit into at least 10 pairs of jeans (not kidding!). Thus, last night, I went on a 'Can I Still Fit Into This' clothing review with the help of The Most Honest Person In The World who, not only answered 'of course not!' to every 'Do I Look Fat In This' but also reacted very quickly with the zips and buttons when I looked like I was about to burst the seams of several dresses.
As it turned out, the whole sorting process boiled down to:
Still, after shortlisting those clothes that fit and ("supposedly") looked fine on me, I still cross the luggage limit. In the end, I did the next best thing - assign all excess luggage to the husband to bring back later. I mean, what does he have to carry anyway? It's not like he going to wear anything other than t-shirts and bermudas in that scorching heat, and he doesn't need to decide how to match that pink blouse with that blue denim skirt and that black tote with that pair of white espadrilles.
Or does he?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Spouse's Logic.
"If you can't stop her from eating other dogs' poo, you might as well encourage her to eat her own. Then we won't have to pick up after her."
It's okay.
I'm just glad he didn't say "If you can't stop her, join her".
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The Perfect Gift.
Apparently, this is what I want for my birthday.
Because I'm such a gamer, and I really like the fact that I could be on my DS while my husband's on his PSP. Ya.
'M' for Mario. Now, if you didn't jump for joy upon receiving the Super Mario Limited Edition Nintendo DS Lite, there must be something wrong with you.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
True Gamer.
Me: "Ooo .. what's this game you're playing? May I try?"
Husband: "Sure."
Me (fiddles with buttons): "Hmm .. how to play?"
Husband: "First of all, it would help if you didn't hold the PSP upside down."
Monday, November 30, 2009
Embryo #2
People, say hi to Embryo Number Two - Leslie! :)
The embryologist magnified Leslie on a TV screen, and Joe took a picture of it.
I am still. awestruck.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Leslie.
Perth.
Over.
Just like that. *snap*
If only time would stop when you're having fun.
Oh well. There is Singapore and Penang to look forward to. Can't complain, really.
And
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
there is the second embryo transfer this coming Monday! :) My gynae seems to think that it's okay to go ahead with it despite the thyroid condition (although I'd have to see an endocrinologist soon).
She also suggested that, if this cycle failed, we should allow the lab to thaw the remaining three embryos (all 2-day-olds), grow them till they're 5-day-olds to "increase their quality" before attempting the third transfer.
I bravely asked if we should perhaps transfer two embryos to increase the chance of pregnancy and I got the most frightening response from her.
Me: "What do you think if we put two embryos in me if we didn't succeed the third time?"
Gynae: "Your body is not suited to carry twins. You will get a miscarriage."
Just like that. No mincing of words. Not even 'you might possibly get a miscarriage' or 'there is a chance of miscarriage' or 'I won't recommend as it's too dangerous'. Just 'You WILL get a miscarriage'. Thanks Doc!
Still, I think it's a legit question especially since a close friend of mine always had two embryos transferred throughout her eight IVF attempts, and a colleague had three embryos put in her. They both gave birth to healthy singletons! I guess I'm not built for that kind of risk.
Anyway, I shall call embryo #2 Leslie (same reason as before - androgynous name!).
Leslie, will you stay or will you go?
*nervous*
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Perth In A Song!
If your connection is slow, wait for the entire
video to load completely before viewing it.
video to load completely before viewing it.
:)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Hypo or Hyper?!
I do not know what to believe anymore. According to the blood tests, I'm supposed to have hypo-thyroidism, but the ultrasound shows that I have hyper-thyrodism? What is going on? My GP suggested nuclear imaging to investigate the problem further but doing so means delaying the embryo transfer till next year! A radioactive dye will be injected during the imaging and we cannot risk having it done with an embryo inside me. Yet, if my thyroid condition is not sorted out, my GP thinks it might affect the IQ of the baby. Sigh, a bit of a conundrum there. Let's see what my gynae has to say. Meanwhile, I'm just going to try to enjoy my Perth vacation (tomorrow!!) and deal with this when I'm back.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Backyard Barbie.
Comforting words from a good friend,"God's delay isn't God's denial." And if the dude up there was answering my question through her, I guess He's trying to say, hey, you're not forgotten! I'm just slow! OKAY, GOD! I hear ya! :)
In any case, Aunty Susan (who is like clockwork these days) is here again and, if all goes well, I should be able to have my 2nd embryo transfer in about 12 days? :D
While the wait is on, I had The Satay Man barbequing chicken satays over the weekend in a bid to satisfy my craving for them! :p~
Yup, that's him there (with his plank of plywood). Don't ask me.
Burn, baby, burn! :)
The satay sauce was surprisingly authentic!
Yummilicious mushroom with melting feta cheese.
Hotdogs and potato slices for variety.
What's chicken satays without the obligatory diced cucumbers? ;)
And that's our backyard barbie for you! :) Till then!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Embryo #1 ...
... did not take.
Where did you go, Chris? :(
Hey big guy, you haven't forgotten us, have you?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
There is cute ...
... and there is super cute!
Not me lah! The baby, of course! :p
Congratulations, K. :)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Grateful.
Even though there is no need for injections now, I am still on oestrogen tablets and progesterone pessaries to help with the implantation of the embryo. The last blood test revealed my progesterone level to be on the low side thus, my gynae has increased the dosage to three times a day making my work flow rather inconvenient at times. However, I'm glad to have such wonderful colleagues who, despite shortage of staff, have made every attempt to cater to my needs. I feel extremely touched and privileged when the entire operating theatre team (including the surgeon) stopped operation just for me to administer my time-sensitive IVF medication because my supervisor couldn't find me a relief staff.
Thank you, colleagues. You couldn't have been more supportive.
:)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Lunch @ Miss Marple's Tea Room.
If there's one place I like having my meals, it's at Miss Marple's! Unfortunately, the journey to the Dandenongs (approx. 1hr) and the long queue (they don't take reservation) mean that we can only to go there once in a blue moon.
They are famous for their Devonshire scones but since it was lunch time, we thought we'd have the main course first before the scones.
(Photo credit @ http://www.missmarples.com.au/)
We ordered our favourite quiche Lorraine with egg and bacon served with chips and garden salad.
And we decided to try something new this time - an open sandwhich with chicken, cheese and asparagus. They were goooood(!) but not enough to fill a hungry stomach, although at the end of both main courses, we were actually too full for scones!
So, that was the highlight of the week, apart from the homemade Mee Siam and Mee Rebus. The Chef thinks that he may be able to "replicate" the open sandwich from Miss Marple's. I'll let you know if he is successful. ;) Meanwhile, have a great week ahead! :)
Monday, November 2, 2009
Ya, we really do talk like that. Sometimes.
Husband: "If we put our shit together, will we be able to tell them apart the next day?"
Me: "Maybe by the shape of it. Mine tend to be more pebble-like."
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Embryo #1
It terrifies me just knowing that there is a living thing growing inside me. Whether it'll survive, I daren't even think about it. For now, I'm just going to take my mind off things by asking my live-in masseur for a nice, long massage. :)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Thank You! :)
I've had a few concerned emails as a result of my previous post. Just so we're clear, no tumour was detected on the breast scan, but I'll be seeing a breast specialist anyway to rule out malignancy. As for the hypothyroidism, a thyroid scan is in place to see if there's a need to see an endocrinologist. Nothing too alarming as of yet but there is a plan of action to correct any abberrancy should the need arise. So, thanks for all your love and concern, kind readers! :)
And oh, the much-anticipated embryo transfer has been scheduled for this Saturday! :) After chatting with a couple of my colleagues who also went through IVF, I'm rather tempted to have TWO embryos implanted since it'll greatly increase the success rate but what if both of them took?! Life with twins? I cannot imagine. *Shudders*
Anyway, here's a pic of the experimental 'Yu Pian Mee Fen' by the in-house chef. Nothing like what you get in Singapore but it's surprisingly delicious! Apparently, the soup was prepared from fish stock, giam cai and condensed milk? It turned out to be so agreeable to my taste buds that I had 3 big bowls already. :P
Monday, October 26, 2009
Medical Woes.
As if battling PCOS and infertility weren't enough, the body decided to hit me with multiple cysts on both breasts. Even though they are most likely benign, my GP insists that I see a breast surgeon for a more thorough exam. I sense breast biopsies coming my way - OUCH!
:(
And to top it off, she also diagnosed me with hypothyroidism - an underactive thyroid gland. Apparently, the symptoms include tiredness and, listen to this - weight gain! Aaaaahhhh....husband, now we have an explanation for those mysterious 8kgs that crept up on me the past months! Not because of my love and ability to polish off 3 boxes of 'Hello Panda' at one go; not because I often had dinner twice; not because I insisted on having therapeutic doses of 'Krispy Kreme' donuts for my headache; but because I HAVE BEEN PLAGUED BY A LEGITIMATE MEDICAL CONDITION! :p
So, dear husband, when you see this post, please buy me a carton of 'Hello Panda' (strawberry flavour), and half a dozen of 'Krispy Kreme' donuts. I mean, PCOS + IVF + breast cysts + hypothyroidism - who can deal with all of these without the consolation of 'Hello Panda' and 'Krispy Kreme'?
Certainly not I. :)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Love is ...
... saying your husband's homemade curry puffs are terribly tasty ...
... even when they are not.
: p
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Hello Aunty Susan!
Aunty Susan has always been late; sometimes so late that she doesn't turn up at all for the entire month. Surprising, this month, for some reason, she's here a week earlier than expected. Maybe she knows that I needed her because her presence and eventual departure signal that we're almost ready for the embryo transfer that was postponed due to my developing of OHSS (an IVF complication). Whatever it is, I've never been more pleased to see her.
Welcome, Aunty Susan! Make yourself at home!
:P
Saturday, October 17, 2009
IVF Update.
Of the 25 eggs fertilised, 5 survived to become embryos. They are now frozen in storage, and one of them will be thawed for transfer some time next month.
For now, we wait.
Thankfully, the brother and the sister-in-law-to-be came a-visiting to take my mind off things.
As you can see from the pics, it was a very food-centered trip! :P
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
2000g.
Husband: "I weighed myself before and after I went to the bathroom."
Me: "And?"
Husband: "2 kgs less."
Me: "Attaboy."
Friday, October 9, 2009
No Go.
As it turns out, there'll be no implantation tomorrow. My gynae thinks my body is not well enough to receive the fertilised egg. To forge ahead with the egg transfer would mean risking being violently ill throughout the pregnancy, and possibly losing the baby.
Sigh.
So, implantation will have to wait till 12 days after Aunty Susan came and left (another month of waiting, that is).
Meanwhile, I should let my husband know that I shall be wallowing in self-pity, and the only way to get me out of it is to make my favourite homemade curry puffs for me tonight.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
+ Baker's Dozen.
I am indeed an egg machine. Since the scan one week ago, I have grown another 13 eggs, making a total of 25 eggs during the egg collection this morning. The limit is 20 eggs so, they're monitoring me now for any signs of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS).
Anyway, Chris will be implanted on Saturday. Wish us luck! :)
Monday, October 5, 2009
Chris.
Thanks to all the drugs, I am now an egg machine. The scan reveals twelve eggs (yes, 12!!), and they are due for collection this Thursday or Friday (depending on the availability of the operating theatre). The lab will attempt to fertilise all of them, and the most promising embryo will be implanted two days after collection.
Since I have no idea if the embryo is male or female, I shall call it Chris because of the androgyneity of the name.
Let's hope Chris likes my uterus. :)
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